A few weeks ago, my business travel met with crazy weather and mixed up airline schedules leaving me stranded. As luck would have it, Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan was stuck in the same mess. So, in the Duluth airport (DLH for all my airport code aficionados out there!) we shared a cocktail or three while we waited for the airline to fix the ailerons on our plane. Vince got a little tipsy and shared the ending of Breaking Bad with me.
I was hoping that Breaking Bad would end with something provocative like Skyler, Jesse, and Walt Jr. getting shot. The only thing left for Walt to do would be to get on his boat and drive himself and their bodies into a hurricane. Walt Jr. would, of course, live and grow up to become a mute lumberjack.
To me, that would be a great ending. However, Vince blew me away with the real ending. This will serve as your final spoiler alert. What I’m sharing will likely ruin the ending, but if you just can’t wait for the end of Breaking Bad to air then read on. I took notes on my phone as best as I could while Vince talked and I think sharing them with you without much editing is the best way to do this.
In the penultimate scene, Walt kills everyone with his trunk Gatling gun. For some reason Skyler, Pinkman, Saul, Junior, his daughter, etc are all together at some event with Todd and his uncle and their henchmen. (SD note: Vince kept some secrets, I don’t know what the event is.) Walter starts killing them. The dust clears and they are all dead. Then he kills Skyler again. Just to be sure because, Jesus, after that editorial she wrote someone had to fucking shut her up for good. (SD note: Vince’s words, not mine.)
Satisfied, Walt puts on his Heisenberg hat. It had fallen to the ground during the firefight. He notices something. He’s dripping blood and cancer juice all over the hat. He’s been shot too. He crumples to the ground dying of cancer and bullet. Fade to black.
The epilogue begins just as you think there’s nothing left. After a few seconds of black, we get a jump cut to a bustling fast food restaurant. Imagine an 80s McDonald’s that’s been turned into some other franchise of fast food restaurant. Families eating shitty fast food. Kids licking the balls in the play area ball pit and vomiting and giving other kids kid diseases like push pop mouth and whatnot.
Some pimply-faced stoner chick is taking drive through orders. The restaurant eventually closes. The camera weaves through the restaurant to the back managers office. The pimply-faced stoner chick locks the doors and heads back to the office. She knocks. “We’re all locked up Mr. Black.” Cut to…
WALT! He’s alive and we never find out why because the show is literary and wants you to think. It’s not going to just explain everything for you. Walt’s name tag says: Mr. Black. (SD note: OH SHIT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS HE HAS A NEW IDENTITY! MR. BLACK! THE OPPOSITE OF WHITE! WILL THIS SHOW EVER STOP BEING SO LITERARY? )
The shadows are all on Walt making him look ominous. He says, “Good. Now we can really cook.” (SD note: He probably means meth, not fast food.) (SD note: OH SHIT THE STONER CHICK WAS A FORMER STUDENT OF HIS AND IS HIS NEW PROTEGE.)
They enter a secret passage in the floor to an awesome meth lab. Better than any meth lab ever. Like the lab in Despicable Me crossed with Dexter’s Laboratory (SD note: Vince’s words, not mine). They cook some meth. It’s lightsaber blue just like it should be. Walt smiles.
Cut to the exterior of the fast food restaurant and the big glowing sign: HEISENBURGER. Camera pulls out to Alburquerque and then the world.
END TITLES AND THAT MUSIC THEY ALWAYS PLAY AT THE END TITLES.
As you can imagine, I cried the entire rest of the time we drank and for the entire flight. Vince just writes the most incredible TV.
Oh wait! There was a post credits scene!
Cut to Hank. Gurgling blood and his hand bursting through the desert soil. He’s like (right into the camera), “I’ll be back.” A Heisenburger wrapper blows into his face and he dies again.