I’ve stopped eating meat at Taco Bell. It tastes horrid and is less healthy. I am telling you this for a reason to become apparent later. I’m a white guy in his late 20’s (read: I’m 30) and I have blond hair and blue-green eyes depending on the angle of the sun and the current point in the tide cycle. I am pasty because I live in Chicago and it’s been winter for far too long. This will become important shortly. I pulled up to the Taco Bell drive thru payment window and the nice woman addressed me the following way.
Woman: aegerhigeioghe agerghegih xnvdjnvsvkn (aka total gibberish)
Me: (Smiling and trying to hand her my credit card) I’m sorry?
Woman: agaeiognabdfkbnanwlf avekvna (more gibberish)
Me: (Feigning understanding) Oh, Yes! (Still trying to hand her my American Express card)
Woman: (Leaning in to get a better look at me): Ahh, you are Hindu!
Woman: You’re Hindu?
Me: Uhh, no, I’m sorry. I misunderstood you.
Woman: (I think really looking at me and my extreme non-Hindu-ness) Oh, I’m sorry! I thought from your order you were Hindu! (Finally lets me pay.)
So there you go. By ordering vegetarian I was presumed Hindu. Let this be a lesson. I’m not sure what the lesson is or was, but hey…awesome. I’ll be Hindu all day long. Pass the Crunchwrap Supreme with beans instead of beef.