I went bowling. It was great. People don’t do enough bowling. Such a classic American sport that has been utterly ruined by anti-smoking laws and high-end bowling lanes that serve craft beers and have DJs with names like DJ Erik Spazzmaster and charge $42 a game. Bowling alleys are smoke filled palaces to ass cracks and truckers and dollar pitchers of “beer”.
It just so happens I wandered into such an anachronism and found my tummy rumbling for something delicious. I decided to hit up the in-alley restaurant called Alley Dogs. That’s when I saw it. The greatest menu ever.
Don’t believe me? I was taking selfies. I have proof.
As I was sizing up the incredible menu and getting my tummy excited for whatever culinary delight I chose, my mellow was harshed severely by the jerk in front of me who was harassing the cute old ladies working the restaurant about the quality of their food. I found myself saying something. Shit. “You’re in a bowling alley”, seemed to leaving my lips. Oops, I did it again. I was ignored. Then I heard, “I’m going to leave you a terrible Yelp review.” The next thing I know, BAM! “I’m going to leave you a five star Yelp review!” came out and my hands were loading the Yelp app. Upon sober reflection I stand by this review.